August 9, 2012

I Suck at Behaviour Change!

Okay....so I'm posting with a little egg on my face (figuratively speaking...I hope) as I'm going through the change of my life kicking and screaming most of the way (so far at least).

Over the last two weeks I have made the transition from living the single gal life to living with her man-friend (along with the three teenage children he comes with). In theory, this all seemed relatively safe, simple, and something I had thought I was ready for. In practice.................not so much.

I have since had approximately 2 major melt downs (not counting those times when I sat in the walk in closet with the door closed...in the fetal position....rocking back and forth). Since this big move, I have learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. What have I learned? I have learned I am completely anal about cleaning up after one's self. I have learned I am rigid about home decor (no...that velvet picture of dogs playing pool is NOT going over the mantel in the living room). I have learned that, although I love large dogs, having the drool and hair on the floor (not to mention my favorite sectional) isn't so cute. I have learned never to leave a bag of Doritos in the pantry unlocked. I have learned that the Canadian teenage boy is really more of a vacuum cleaner for Doritos and other forms of empty calories. Most importantly, I have learned that I have lived alone for way too long.

It's time to change and I'm ready for it....I think.

My first step was to become aware of the above (check), my second is to mourn the loss of my single life (presently engaged), my third is to reconstruct my living situation so I may enjoy and learn to love living with such a large family. I want to learn to give without expectation (but never without appreciation) and to support my man-friend unconditionally. Although this is my goal, I fear it may take some time (as all good change does). I just wanted to acknowledge that, although I may be well practiced and educated in health behaviour change (diet, exercise, and the like) I struggle with the big ticket items like living and getting along with others and sharing my toys in the sandbox.

I guess I should be thankful for my self awareness...with that, change is possible. But as God is my witness....I will be ridding my house of visible wires, finding a place for all the shoes, and doing what it takes to avoid having an old, broken down, stationary bike in the living room!

Besides a huge tension headache....that's all I got for now!
K

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