|It wouldn't surprise me if this is what's going|
on when the parents aren't at home.....
This is what I wanted to say to my last client (as she sat across from me barely giving me enough information to strike up a normal conversation). I asked question after question only to be given the shoulder shrug or the "I dunno" response. I'm sorry, who called who here? I have all the time to give anyone who is ready to change...but this is just irritating.
I sat there, staring back at her, at a loss for words. Finally, I just said..."If you don't like eggs for breakfast, think of something you do like" (brilliant...I didn't spend 8 years in school for nothin'). My frustration grew as I started to understand that she wasn't there to do the work, but there for me to give her the answers. She was a shift worker who didn't like to cook and ate from fast food restaurants most of the time. Every suggestion I gave was met with a reason why it wouldn't work (and so becomes apparent her external locus of control).
Locus of control is a psychological term given for the amount of internal or external (perceived) control one has or feels they have over their life and the changes to it. If I have a client going on about the reasons why she can't have breakfast in the morning it may be apparent that her locus of control leans to the external (blaming others or circumstances for the reality of their lives). Conversely, if she were to sit there and proclaim (albeit seemingly impossible) her ability to make changes, I would say she has more of an internal locus of control.
It amazes me how many clients I see that really aren't ready for change. Without saying so much, I try and persuade them to either revisit their changes when things quieten down for them or change one small thing. I try and negotiate, plead, and even beg for them to see that their approach to their changes (to their goals of losing weight) is what is getting in the way of success. Instead, they reach for the Slim Fast or Ascai Berry fruit drink (I don't know if that exists...I'm just sayin') for quick results. Funny enough, I know one woman in my community who sells "health in a pill" for weight loss and vitality and looks more unhealthy everytime I see her...go figure.
I know...I go on and on about this topic all the time. I'm sure you are getting sick of reading it. But the more I write about it, the more I witness it (mmmm....I wonder if that's the law of attraction coming in the play here?). I just think we would all be happier if we got real with what we can and can't change right now. It's summer (or at least it is struggling to be summer) and with that comes the camping, the beach, the chips, the Pear Coolers, and all the rest of it. Why would someone chose NOW to cut this stuff out? Unless you are sick and tired and done with the junk food, don't try this at home. OR decide to add more of the good stuff (keeping with the other stuff at the same time).
Add more vegetables to your plate but still enjoy the perks of summer. You will benefit from the increase in health and maybe even be too full for the other stuff without even making an effort.
From what I'm seeing, no one wins when change isn't truly desired. It's just painful to watch.