July 26, 2012

Does this Pre-Nup Make My Assets Look Small?

I am in the process of combining forces with my man friend. It's taken us close to 4.5 years to feel truly ready for it (or maybe that was just me...but whatever), and as of yesterday, we officially purchased a home together (I will release the breath I'm holding in another 12 hours or so). While this is something to celebrate, the steps to merging assets in your 40's isn't the same as when I did it in my 20's. All of a sudden I'm dealing with pre-nups, wills, life insurance, and am face to face with my net worth....(or lack thereof). In my 20's, all I did was say "yes" and, all of a sudden, I was married with a house....and I can't remember the rest (or I've chosen to bury it deep down so I never have to think about it).

I have no idea what I spent my money on for that last 2 decades, but saving wasn't first and foremost on my list. I did pay for two degrees (and take my sweet time in them).....but nothing screams "LOSER!" more loudly than seeing my networth on paper. It's a crappy crappy feeling. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw realizing she spent over 40k on footwear and has nothing in her bank account.

Financial health is important, I get that. But what about the assets I have that don't have monetary value? What about the fact I manage my stress well or I eat my veggies and get daily exercise? What about my fabulous personality and willingness to lend a hand? What about the lack of burdon I have on our social systems; like medi-care? Huh? What about that??

I realize, in the society we live in, money matters and things matter and when you couple up in your 40's you must protect what you have accumulated. I just wish that at the bottom of the pre-nup it made room for all the other assets you are bringing into the marriage like patience and understanding. Or a willingness to say "I'm sorry" or be more aware of my actions. Instead, it looks like something out of an old fashioned movie where the guy swoops down and saves the girl from a poverty strickened life of nothingness.

Well...it's gonna change...as God is my witness. I hereby proclaim my dedication to downsizing my liabilities and increasing my assets.  Meanwhile, I wear a scarlet letter of financial irresponsibility on my forehead as I embark on this new life of cohabitation (dreaming of a world that holds a committment to a healthy lifestyle in higher regard than a healthy savings account - like I dream of cities made of chocolate).

But really, what's the worst thing that can happen...I wind up on the street holding a sign up that says "will counsel on weight loss and exercise for food"....and Victoria has a great climate during the winter.


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