August 11, 2011

Fear and Vegetables (in the City)


Just a sample of the beautiful old brick
you see everywhere in Ottawa. I used
a ton of photo apps to create this
image, but I think it says it all!

I'm back from Ottawa.  It was a great trip (although my flight back included sitting next to a German  twenty something man towering 7 feet tall with a bad attitude, drinking problem, and blatant disregard for personal space....I made it through with the grace of God and help from Nurse Jackie).  I also managed to eat fairly well and stick to my eating plan....almost. The first night on the town (note beautiful glass of wine and healthy dinner in pic below) was fabulous although I did manage to drink three glasses of wine - which lead to my cravings for nachos.  The good news is I didn't cave but I did go back to the hotel room and down a Pepsi Zero costing me $15 (kidding....sort of).

The second night was a bit sketchy. Although I enjoyed another healthy meal of chicken breast and salad (and only one glass of wine), I was feeling rather sorry for myself thanks to an absolutely raging of out control hormonal imbalance (which, I fear, influenced my reference to my colleague as a "dick" when he suggested I was feeling hot because of hot flashes....my initial call still stands as I have yet to forgive him for that).  At any rate, I got to my hotel room fully aware that lurking in the mini bar was a small tube of Pringles along with other tempting confections just steps away.  I could only resist the temptation for so long (I mean, I'm only human with a mean craving for salt and fat). It didn't take too long before I tore into that tube like a wild bore tears into it's kill...only without the drool and grunting...I think...I wasn't  conscious of anything else around me. The good news is that I felt no guilt or shame for what I had done. I did it and moved on.

I mean just look at how beautiful this Cab Sav from Chile looks! How could you not love her and want to be a part of her life?  It was too easy to have three glasses...but once you do, you don't crave carrots (know what I mean?)


It was very easy to special order dishes such as this. This BBQ chicken salad wasn't on the menu, but by combining and asking for it...it was.  The chicken was real too...no compressed chicken parts of anything!
Other than keeping to a rather healthy eating plan, I did something rather stupid and thoughtless. I wished I hadn't, I wished I could have looked away, but I didn't and am now paying heavily for my actions.  As I think I have mentioned, I'm scheduled for a LEEP procedure for next Tuesday. Although I plan to report my experiences (complete with non-gross pictures of the event), I am not going into details now except to say it is disgusting, torturous, gross, unthinkable, and could have only been invented by a man...no woman in her right mind would ever think of scraping an electrified wired along such a sensitive surface AFTER injecting said surface with a needle....and that's all I will say about that.

ANYWAY, I decided to ask a few colleagues of mine if they had ever had one. To my sheer and utter horror, one went on to describe both her experiences not leaving out one gritty detail of her accidental electric shock, elevated heart rate, and fainting spell...not to mention the six months it took for her recovery. But wait, there's more! I proceeded to sit in my hotel room until 1am reading post and post of bad experiences coupled with YouTube videos logging every gross thing that could possibly happen. The things I wasn't even freaked out about...I am freaked out about thanks to the stupid Internet. Of course, you log onto a medical site or a doctor detailing it on YouTube and you will get the same emotionless crap touting it's painless and only takes a few minutes......soooooo easy for you to say, Doc!  Needless to say, I have had many sleepless nights and feelings of fear and loathing. Not to mention I won't be able to workout at all because I'm having to rehab my "rose bud" (if you have seen Citizen Kane you will understand that reference) for six freak'in months....this is my fear.

Whatever, I'm going to "man-up" to this barbaric procedure and just get 'er done...I mean the alternative is worse (the alternative being cancer). After my "research" I feel it more important than ever to provide the next LEEP'er with some more positive and detailed information besides the usual horror I read. A warning to all those who may be squeamish around the subject matter...skip the post on Wednesday.

So today I am decompressing at home and looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I have been ready on my porch all day and have my veggies cut and ready along with the salmon (farmed...not wild) thawing in the sink.  Yes...now that I understand the real science behind the controversy of farmed vs. wild....I will only eat farmed.  Interested in hearing more about that, let me know. Otherwise.....


It may be too early to say for sure, but I believe my
take-out pizza days may be over!
 That's all I got for now.
K

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