July 8, 2011

It's all OK!

Did I ever share with you a pic of my
role model? I love her because (by
looking at her) she is going to be
who she is, is okay with it, and no
one is going to tell her differently!
I was leaving work a couple of days ago and found myself in a pickle (or at least craving one).  I was seriously craving junk food but could either wait until my 40 minute drive home to reach for something healthy or I could stop off at the gas station for something now. What do you think I did? If you know me at all you would answer.....gas station. Delayed gratification...isn't that a sign of maturity?

Yup. By the time I got home the evidence of my gluttony and impatience was strewn all over the passenger's seat. I actually took a picture of it, but didn't have the internal strength to post it within this blog.  I'm ashamed of my behaviour, and what's worse...it didn't stop at the gas station. I went grocery shopping en route to my house for dinner items.  Rule of thumb when emotionally eating....never go grocery shopping in this frame of mind. I was craving (and this is the part I request no judgement) white bread and Kraft Singles. I know! How gross is that?????? So what did I do? If you know me, you will say ....I bought white bread and Kraft Singles. I made love to each - independently and together - when I got home (figuratively speaking...in case you don't know me that well).  At any rate, after it was all done with I started to feel pangs of guilt mixed with the sedation of my simple carb/ edible oil product combination. But you know what? I just said....it's okay. You know why? 'Cause it is.

No. David Bowie isn't disappointed
in you. It's usually you disappointed
with yourself. We may perceive the
disappointment in others which will
adds to our feelings of and shame.
Sorry about the pic. I loved it so much
I had to put it in here...
 It's okay to give in to your cravings once in a while. It's okay to skip your exercise program once in a while. It's okay to get up at 11am and sit in your PJs all day watching your favorite HBO series once in a while. It's okay to say "no" to things to have more time for yourself and the pursuit of your own interests. It's okay to say that life is hard and you need support. It's okay to fall off the wagon of anything you are trying to change. The big thing is you are trying. Keep trying....one day it will stick. The simple truth is we all struggle and those that say they don't are lying. People kill themselves over making their lives look well put together.

I am a firm believer (to the point of getting wellies as I type this) that it is okay to be less and do less than we think we should do. We need to shrug off our overinflated expectations of ourselves ('cause you know we impose more on ourselves than others do) and we need to let go of the desire for perfection. We need to be forgiving of ourselves and our behaviour. We never have to apologize to anyone for eating a entire box of Pop-Tarts (not that I would know anything about that) or for not working out or for looking like we do. We should never feel guilty or bad about our waist size or feel we "should" be doing something about it. I believe that once we are ready, we do do something about it.

I am told with age comes attitude. I hope I am able to say "ladida" more easily and flick off the irritating little angle of "health" sitting on my shoulder most days. Health is letting go of shame and embracing life in so many ways other than 30 minutes on the stair climber followed by a vegetable/fruit smoothie.
I'm okay with my binge. I know I will embrace the vegetable again sometime soon (although the urge hasn't hit yet, but it will). Health is all about a balance between happy, sad, carbohydrates, and vegetables. It's a balance between wine and water, cookies and cantaloupe. So join me in shaking off the guilt and serving up a healthful plate of (insert your favorite food here).  Enjoy every bite and know that when you are ready to pick up the healthy eating again, you will.  It's all OK!

Maybe it is the rebel in me but in my "motivational post card" I would note that it is okay to be; grumpy, hopeless, sad, and fearful as these emotions and feelings are as natural as happiness, hopefulness, and the rest of it. The key is being able to recognize these emotions and do what it takes to get out of them. Our "negative emotions" are fabulous signs that help us recognize when our life is off track. You just need to pay attention to them.

That's all I got (except for a few more fake cheese slices in the fridge).



  1. Oh, Kathy! Of course I would have to post on this one and I swear we are in the same body sometimes! I was doing so well until Thursday when stress took over and I was drowing..... home to nibbles while cooking and then eating lunch as I was making it for the next day! Stress... it can make you do weird things but for us, it's "grab crap" instinct. Well, it's a gorgeous day and let's get our ass out to start it! xox

  2. Hey A;
    I'm sorry you are so stressed. I hope that has dissapated a bit since. Yes, stress can make us do really weird things. Whatever...that's life. I think if we can be aware of our behaviours and our stress levels, we can make a few changes...or not. Sometimes we need the hot buttered popcorn!

    Hope your summer is going well! Thanks for the post...I missed hearing from you.