May 20, 2011

Is this (really) the end of the world as we know it?

I don't believe there's a meteor in this story, but
you get the idea.....
 So there I was...over the last few days searching for a blog topic that interested me. This morning I found it in an email when one of my closest friends said she was having a "Rapture" party at her house tomorrow night. When asked, she informed me that the beginning of the end of the world starts tomorrow....... My first question was, does this have anything to do with the end of the Oprah show? Of course, how would I know about the end of the world, I cut cable!

Needless to say, I was intrigued and a little bit nervous (I'm not gonna lie to you).  So I went on-line to read a few news stories on the subject. Man, where have I been? Evidently, there are billboards up warning people of this "rapture" event and others poking fun at it. Of course, their comments and actions had me in stitches. One smart man in the states has offered a service for those who will be dead by October 21 (evidently the non-believers die that day) and he will take care of their pets (I guess the pets stay here). He has about 250 people already paying him about $135.00 each to ensure their dogs and cats are taken care of. My God...why didn't I think of that?

I grew up with a father that was very religious. We went to church every Sunday, went to Sunday school and was a part of the youth group at our church for years. I have some great memories of those times; the cute boys, the smoking behind the rectory, skipping out of Sunday school to "neck" with Joey...good times.  At any rate, I know a little about the Book of Revelations from the Bible. I read that chapter word for word because of my interest in disaster and horror stories. The book of Revelations suggests (it actually doesn't predicts, warns, maybe even orders) that tomorrow, Saturday, May 21 will be the start of "judgement" and those that believe in God will stick around and those that don't will be wiped away.

Remember when we thought the end of the
world was Y2K? I have to admit, I was crossing
my fingers and holding my breath at the New
Year's party in Sydney, Australia (we were
going to get it first).
Now, let's just say for argument sake, that the world does take this turn tomorrow (I hear it starts with a major earthquake larger than Japan...which is also freakin' me out because we are due for "the big one") certainly would be an interesting turn of events. At least those that are getting the worldly boot have some notice....they get five months to get their heads around it, to rack up their credit card debt, to spend their life savings, and to have the best time of their limited lives - these people certainly won't be thinking about daily exercise and eating well (there goes half my clientele). I wonder if the credit card companies will create a "non-believer" policy to turn down those that are getting kicked off the planet?  For those that are judgemental will they be (not to mention literally holier than thou)? They will have been literally chosen by God to stay on the planet. I can see the ego inflation now. Will they at least organize a nice send off? Perhaps Hallmark will start making greeting cards on the subject. Kind like, "Sorry for the eternal damnation of your soul. All the best for a great trip!"

All I can say is if the world is starting this count down tomorrow so be it. I have been in a funk for a while anyway. It's not like I'm planning a vacation, wedding, or majorly exciting life change. At least, if it does happen, we will finally have the oldest question in the world answered...yes, there is life after death and yes, God does exist, and yes, he is very judgemental. I mean, who does he think he is....God?  (I'm certain I'm about to get struck by lightening.....)

I'm certainly not posting this to judge anyone for believing anything. I have my own set of beliefs, I have a sense of who I am, and I live my life based upon that. I also respect individual differences and the beliefs of others. Whether you believe in aliens, ghosts, god, Buddha, sea monsters, the tooth fairy, or nothing, we shouldn't be threatened by our differences. The important (and health related....always have to keep to my theme) thing about our beliefs is they act like a road map for those tough decisions in life and when life takes a really bad turn we use them to explain the really crappy thing that happened. In fact, our beliefs and attitudes are a major part of our resiliency to not in this particular situation (when you believe the end of the world is upon us)... but you get the idea.

Evidently, the planets are all aligning on December 12, 2012.
I know nothing about planets or the influence they have
over the universe, but if the crazies come out during a full
moon, what's going to happen this night ?  Will  it result in
the predicted Zombie apocalypse? I know a few universities
getting ready for that.....
At any rate, my mother is coming to visit this weekend, I am planning a party tomorrow night (now, at least, I have a theme), and I may decide to bake a chocolate, Duncan Hines cake with vanilla icing (out of the can) and eat the entire thing myself. Then, you watch, it will have been all a bunch of malarkey and I won't be able to fit into my pants for a month. Stupid end of the world.

....and just think, if we survive this religious prediction, we have another to look forward to on December 12, 2012 (the Mayans believed the world is going to end). Good times.

Happy Rapture!


  1. OMG I will be in Mexico on 12/12/12.... I'll drink to that!! Tequila shot it is. Oh, and today I had a cookie ad Robert came to see me and we laughed over the COOKIE name again..... he loved the blog about it. I am suer we'll chat tomorrow...... after the world has ended but clogging will continue:):)

  2. Who cares about end of the world. We all gonna die anyway.