November 7, 2010

The Morning After...(I'm too old for this)

I thought I was old enough (and well experienced enough) to never have to revisit a morning like this morning again. The events of last night are sketchy, but the results were strewn all over the dining table this morning to reminding me of the debauchery of Saturday night.

The evening started out innocently enough. We had tickets to attend an auction to support sending some kids to Quebec. It promised an evening of appetizers, maybe a glass of wine or two, and a room full of parents bidding on the odd steak knife and hand knitted scarf. I mean, how crazy could it get? We were planning on leaving early and maybe checking out a DVD after.

By the fourth plastic cup of boxed wine-in-a-baggie, I was out of control! Oooh, that picture looks on it! Two nights in on it! I've always wanted to go on it! Once the nice ladies sitting next to me handed over their drink tickets (either through fear or sympathy), I could not be stopped. I ate a bowl full of Bits & Bites all by myself, I dove into the sandwich tray like a kid launching herself into a bin of balls. I even ate processed meat! Oh...the humanity!!!!

...And it didn't stop there. Once the last glass of wine was drunk and I was safely home (via designated driver) I found the Halloween candy (memo to self...pour dish washing liquid on all remaining  Halloween left overs after placing in the garbage). Needless to say, when I woke up this morning, I felt less than energetic never mind healthy and vital. I had mini Kit Kat bar oozing out my pores coupled with the nasty taste of Bits & Bites emanating from my very soul.  But that's not the worst of it. As we got up and moved slowly out into the dining room, we saw the evidence of the night before spread across the dining room table. A margarita kit complete with rimming salt and napkins, a water colour of the local scenery, and gift certificates for chartered fishing trips, rock climbing, overnight stays were all reminders of our (my) momentary lack of self-control (memo to self...never drink and auction).
That's me. Bloated and furry.
So now I sit with an empty bank account and bloated fingers. I feel the need to exorcise the evil that is coursing through my veins, sitting in my liver, and tormenting my GI tract. I'm having flashbacks of wine-in-a-bag being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste for the very last drop....I'll never be able to erase that vision burned on my brain.

O well. What's done is done. On the bright side, we now have two nights in Tofino and a fishing trip to look forward to...although I can't say I'm looking forward to making Margaritas any time soon. What does this have to do with health? In my opinion, health (or wellness) can be defined as the understanding and awareness of when you are unhealthy or unwell and knowing what to do about it. In my case, I'm drinking gallons of water, taking a nap, and eating vegetables for lunch and dinner (of course I had to partake in the traditional hangover breakfast of greasy eggs and buttery toast - if there was a chocolate chip cookie or two thrown in the mix, I had no control over it).

Real life health may include the odd night of alcohol and bank account abuse (because that's real life). I'm not proud of it, I'm not suggesting it, but I am admitting it.

That's all I got. Now I must check under the couch for change.



  1. That bear pic is awesome.

  2. Thanks certainly fit the subject matter. Hope you are well and enjoyed your saturday night!

  3. LOL - you got cut loose sometime and I'm glad you'll be fishing! Have fun and don't let the big one get away. - Marilyn

  4. You have so many good thoughts, ideas and examples of the importance of health promotion in your own life and how it positively effects those around you... it's so refreshing to see your human side too. Reminds me we're not trying to turn ourselves into robots -- just better, healthier, people. Thanks Kathi :)

  5. Wow, Rob;
    Thank you very much for that kind comment. You made my day. I completely agree with your comment about robots.
    Thanks again!

  6. Beautiful! I will admit to drinking and auctioning as well (I once outbid myself on some plane tickets and ended up upping my bid by about $50 !?! My husband STILL brings it up).

    Look on the bright side -- some kids will be going to Quebec because of you :-) Maryse

  7. Okay..Maryse..
    You win. That is the funniest story I have heard in a long time. Thanks for sharing!
    Remind me to never "drink and auction" with you. That would just be bad (albeit probably really funny later).