July 29, 2010

I recently ran into one of my fabulous friends as she was going into the gym for a workout.  We exchanged the usual information and started talking about her successes (and challenges) in making changes to her diet and exercise.  Like most, she was working hard at getting to the gym regularly and eating better despite a busy schedule. After sharing a story about a loved one preaching to her the benefits of eating well, she stated how hard it was, as a working single parent, to eat whole nutritious meals vs. the fast food.

As I drove home, I started to think more and more about her comment.  I hear the same defence from those I coach more often than not.  There is either no time, no money; the kids don't like the food, or some other excuse why faster food wins out and the home-cooked meals loose.

As risky as this is to say - as I know it will upset many of my thousands of dedicated readers (a little sarcasm there) - statements such as these are excuses that serve as a mask for the honest answer; "I'm just not ready to change." I know it is hard to admit when one is desperate to make change, but let's face it, if you are truly desperate, you will find the time, the money, and not blame your kids, your spouse, your job, or anything/one else.  Simply put, if you are blaming you are not ready to make changes. it isn't good or bad, it just is.

Once you are able to let go of this security blanket of blame, and are able to shoulder the responsibility, you will come to the understanding that the only one responsible for your health, your nutrition, your physical activity, your intellectual growth, your self-confidence is YOU. No one else is going to make you do anything.

When I first sit down with a new "client", I can tell within the first 10-15 minutes if their attempt at making change will stick. Just listening to their words and reasons for their situation provides me with enough information to predict the future.  Sure, I can provide the appropriate coaching for the "stage of change" they may be in, but ultimately it may not lead to success this time around.  The good news is (as I have written before) the more you try to change, the greater success you will have to change. Practice does make perfect.

So the next time you blame something or someone else for your inability to (add your desired lifestyle change here), stop yourself and reframe it. How could YOU change the situation? How could YOU make it happen? The answer lies within...not without.


Happy Life!
Kathi

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